Should I tell my husband everything? He says that keeping secrets from each other is harmful to our relationship.
The short answer: No.
Right now, I’m writing a supposed tell-all book. But there’s no way I would tell all, and it’s not because I can’t remember everything.
Privacy matters. Hopefully everything I’m putting in my book either has entertainment value or it spotlights a lesson worth reading—like don’t let a bank robber steal your heart and never have drinks with a married A-list celebrity who is a notorious womanizer because The National Enquirer will find out and hunt you down. The things that won’t make it in the book are my secrets that are nobody’s business but mine. No husband or boyfriend is going to get those secrets out of me.
And yet, for our sanity, sometimes it feels good to tell somebody all our secrets, even the stupid humiliating ones like peeing in your panties during a third-grade spelling bee.
There’s a guy who knows this better than anyone and his mission in life is keeping your secrets. You can tell him anything and no one will ever find out. His name is Frank Warren and his address is PostSecret, 13345 Copper Ridge Road, Germantown, MD 20874. You send him an anonymous postcard with the deep, dark secret that your husband says he wants to know and, voila, you’ve told someone so it’s technically it’s not a secret anymore.
Telling the wrong secret to your lover can cause a nightmare. What’s a “wrong” secret? Well, I had no intention of letting anyone know that I’d had some wild times with Mel Gibson after I’d learned he was married. He was kind and respectful to me; he didn’t deserve the bad publicity. Then one day in 2004 I got a threatening email from someone identified as “firstname.lastname@example.org”. It opened with “We are a company which digs up info on people and sells it to the highest bidder.”
After my secret became international news, the affair haunted every relationship I had—for years. Men asked to sleep with me so they could prove they were better than Mel. Some women wanted to sleep with me to find out if they were better than Mel! So the secret-that-was-no-more became more dominant in my relationships than the here-and-now.
Everything was bared, like when I was in the fourth grade and one day we played a game called “poles.” The tether ball on the playground had been taken down so only the pole remained. We decided to climb up the pole as far as we could then twirl around all the way down to the bottom. Whoever swung around the most times was the winner. I won, but everybody saw my pettipants. At least they were clean.
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The reason they sometimes get it right is because they hunt down sources mercilessly. See: http://www.msn.com/en-us/entertainment/celebrity/10-times-the-national-enquirer-has-been-right-from-michael-jackson-to-oj-simpson/ss-BBsqQmm
Maintain the helpful work and delivering in the crowd!
I enjoy this site – its so usefull and helpfull
Thanks for the comment!!! Diana
Diana if you really wanted to keep your secrets, why are you writing a book about your life? You said that you had some regrets to have exposed your fling with mel gibson but the question is: have you really had a fling with him it is not simply for money? Because if you really had relationship with him why calling the magazines and do comment about his private life exposing your opinions, are there any photos or witnesses to prove it? The problem is that I don’t know you personally you seems to be very funny of course but I had some doubts about your honesty I hope that this comment don’t hurt you but I really wanted to say my opinions about the subject
Dear Stellan, thank you! Your note gives us a chance to connect about the truth of this. I was threatened by the National Enquirer—and do have physical evidence in the form of emails—that if I didn’t voluntarily give my story, they would run with their version of it. (For the most part, they did that anyway.) I did not take any initiative in calling anyone about the affair, nor did I receive any money either for being with Mel Gibson (whom I’m admire, by the way) or for telling my story.
Regarding the life story, you’re right about that and so I’ve rethought the wisdom of talking about my life in memoir format. I’ve begun working on a very different version of the events that is pure humor. I was encouraged by many people to tell my life story because it’s a kind of rags-to-riches tale involving some very famous people. But it’s never been my intent to exploit the relationships with those people, all of whom were very kind to me—Mel Gibson included.
I welcome further questions and comments and appreciate your interest.
Warm regards, Diana
Hi , thank you for having answered to my post with politeness or even answering to this , I’m not a defendor of mel Gibson but I admire his work and I think that he doesn’t deserve at all , all the polemics against him especially with his supposed mistresses , the rumours of mistresses beginning in the mid eighties so it was a long time ago but most of them were false for example a young woman said that she didn’t explain really , she had a sexual encounter with him in Los Angeles in 1987 while mel was in australia ! Or other who said the same thing but After said that it was just a friendship for me all these women were some sick fans , I know that mel was an alcoholic ( he said he is sober now which mean not necessarily that it’s true but anyway ) and I’m sure that he didn’t cheat on his wife because Robyn divorce and said irreconcilable differences it means something no ? But I had some big doubts with you with his fidelity so I found a lot of things about him this time , you said that you met him in november 1988 in a bar right ? I ask this question because maybe it’s false ,and you said that you had a four months relationship ? That is the problem it’s simple : it’s impossible . First I saw that the filming of lethal weapon 2 was in late november and finished in march 1989 it was a four months relationship the relationship finished in february so you had an affair with him during the filming but during the filming his family was with him as he said in interviews and Richard donner said too , during his free time he was with his family so it’s impossible
I’m sorry to tell that but you seem to be a clever and funny woman but I can’t believe that maybe you had the right dates and the photos to prove it etc here I’ll know your honesty but now I can’t , it’s too bad because I really wanted to participe n your site but I had some doubts about you it’s hypocritcal
Thank you anyway to have Reading this
Hi, Stellan, thanks for your continued interest. I have told the truth about the relationship. I also have the utmost respect for him and the way he treated me. I have nothing bad to say about Mel Gibson. Please keep in mind that it is possible to love your family and cheat–lots of men do it. In fact–I don’t want to be sexist here–there are probably lots of women who do it, too. Wishing you wonderful year! Diana
Really so you had a relationship with him during the filming of lethal weapon ? He really said to you that he was not married ? You didn’t suppose a second that maybe there was something wrong because he was not here the day or maybe he was I don’t know ? You really had sex on the floor with him … ( No here just kidding!) Who was the height of his peni… No I’ll stop promise ! , you know it’s difficult for me but I think that now I trust you , maybe he’s just an asshole with talent ( because for me a guy who cheat on his wife he’s complete an asshole) sorry to haven’t trusted you at first
Wishing you a wonderful year
Hi, Stellan, First of all, thank you for trusting me. Next, I just want to make a quick comment and then maybe we can move to a different conversation: Thanks to technology, we can literally see into someone else’s head, but that doesn’t enable us to understand completely how another person thinks. We can speculate all day and all night long about why a man might lie, cheat, or do a random act of kindness, but in some cases, we’ll really never know. I’m not one of those people who necessarily forgets the lying and cheating, but I’ve come to learn that I need to forgive it because I may not know the whole story. With that in mind, let’s just agree that Mel Gibson is an extremely talented man who did some things that might not be forgotten, but should be forgiven…by somebody… Wishing you good things in this new year! Diana