Current Testimonials

“Diana Alouise has always possessed this ‘Forest Gump-like’ ability to stumble into outrageous situation and come out on top. Her life story unfolds like modern day version of Shampoo meets Sex in the City with, maybe not 50, but at least 25 Shades of Grey.”

– Chip Vucelich (Emmy nominated production manager for the American Crime Story series on the O.J. Simpson trial, American Horror Story, CSI and JAG)

“A most extraordinary life lived by a most extraordinary (and funny) woman. I have lived all of these crazy stories from haircut to haircut.”

– Perry Katz (Producer of Crocodile Dundee in LA, McHale’s Navy, and Flipper)

“Every once in a long great while, a book of staggering truth told with wit and searing disclosures seems to rise from the muddy  banality of confessional drivel known as “memoirs.”  While most memoirs are little more than narcissistic pleas for attention, Diana Alouise’s is of another breed, told with the same rawness and unflappable spirit that must account for her unquestionable optimism in a town that often takes pleasure in decimating it. In the twisted land of Hollywood where dreams, vices and sex merge into a yummy cocktail of both the absurd and comical, Diana Alouise has had her hands in the blender and invented her own recipe with her inimitable wit and sassy courage. Everyone who has ever caught the Hollywood bug will recognize themselves in Diana’s audacious memoir, filled with both the beauty of the dreams and the reality of the nightmares that is Hollywood, USA — the greatest factory of fantasies feeding our restless imaginations. And for all those who never dared to enter the battlefield, reading Alouise’s book will both ignite your senses and confirm your worst fears.”

–  Gina Wendkos (Award-winning writer of Coyote Ugly as well as Disney’s The Princess Diaries and its sequel, The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement starring Julie Andrews and Anne Hathaway.)

“Comedienne Diana Alouise is on a one-coiffeuse quest to reintroduce the mullet back into pop culture while cutting and weaving with scissors, comedy, and commentary!”

– Hank Rosenfeld, LA Times

Pictured here with Jon Voight, Diana was participating in a charity event at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library that drew a number of celebrities devoted to support of veterans. At her table at dinner were Voight, comedian Dana Carvey, and actor Gary Sinese, whose foundation provides programs for current and former military personnel and first responders. Events like this have been an important part of her life, particularly since losing her fiancé to the war in Afghanistan.

In sharp contrast to the comic and sometimes risqué tales in her memoir, the story of love and loss of Sergeant Phil Bocks is heartbreaking. Here is a snippet:

“Don’t worry about me, Diana. I’ll be fine and back here before you know it.”

            I stood in front of Phil’s coffin, tears in my eyes. My body ached with sadness and disappointment as I took a final look at the man who was going to be my husband in two months. I wanted to remember him smiling, laughing, breathing.

            Phil and I met and fell in love and, just when things were at their best, he was sent to Afghanistan to fight for our country. On the night of November 8, 2007, after dropping off medical supplies and food to a remote Afghan village, he and his band of twenty-seven Marines (including the nephew of New Zealand’s Prime Minister, Helen Clark) were ambushed while hiking through a deep, rocky canyon.

            Phil was first shot in the leg but refused medical help from his men because he didn’t want to slow them down. Injured, he continued on. Then he was shot a second time. The bullet pierced his heart. When Sergeant Phil Bocks died at age 28 in the dark, on a cold mountain in Afghanistan, I lost my lover and my best friend.

            The Marines lost a hero that day, and I lost my hero. For the rest of my life, not a day will go by that I won’t remember Phil and how he sacrificed his life for our country and the people of The United States of America.

A Sampling of Story Highlights

  • Influenced by famous family member, Sally Rand (pioneer of exotic and fan dancing), Diana leaves the cornfields of conservative Nebraska for Hollywood.
  • En route, she makes a brief stop in Hawaii to marry a world champion surfer, but divorces him when he develops a daily heroin habit.
  • On to California where she gets comfortable in her new home, her rusty green Chevy Nova, blue-book value $100.
  • Through Forrest-Gump luck, Diana gets a new gig in a top Beverly Hills hair salon. She becomes a licensed hair-dresser by claiming South African citizenship.
  • Diana dates her first soul mate, a gorgeous man who turns out to be an international armed bank robber.
  • Diana soon styles lots of celebrities in the salon. Sela Ward, Henry Winkler and Gilby Clarke from Guns-n-Roses are some of her favorite and most loyal clients.
  • It does not escape her that there is irony in her providing advice (“hairapy”) to her A-list clients when she’s the one who needs psychotherapy.
  • Diana tries to hold back her sexual attraction toward her clients and always remain professional, but she falls for Steve McQueen, with whom she has her first celebrity fling.
  • Diana becomes the personal stylist to Richard Dean Anderson (MacGyver) for 20 years, which leads to steamy trysts and the invention of the mullet haircut.
  • Rick introduces Diana to dozens of new celebrity clients: actors and actresses, movie producers, and others. She never tells Rick how much she cares about him because she knows he wants children and she can’t have them due to a medical condition.
  • Mel Gibson comes into her life. Their affair is exposed in a cover story in The National Enquirer as well as other tabloid journals and a follow-up interview on E! News.
  • It’s all so messy, she has to dig deep into her psyche to figure out what to next. What does she find there? Jokes. On to the Hollywood Improv and a string of other clubs.
  • Diana’s friend, Jimmy Brogan, the head writer of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno at the time, introduces her to Bill Maher, Paula Poundstone and, of course, Jay Leno.
  • Diana sets out to get her Screen Actors Guild (SAG) card and discovers the proverbial “casting couch.” She’s sexually harassed by her first agent and a low-budget casting director. On a B-movie set, she’s asked to do a scene that wasn’t in the script that called for her to appear in a hot tub with a large inflatable penis. Diane learns how to avoid working with giant dicks.
  • Diana acts in theater and B-movies like The Revenge of Mr. Willie, and she performs for Milton Berle at his birthday party held at The Comedy Store.
  • She dates singer David Johansen (New York Dolls), guitarist Gilby Clarke (Guns-n-Roses), comedian Jimmy Shubert (King of Queens), and producer Terry Mulroy (The Drew Carey Show).
  • And then love: Diana gets engaged to a US Marine. Just before their wedding, he dies in action in Afghanistan.
  • Suddenly, nothing is funny until, on the rebound, Diana falls for a born-again Christian and AA member. She later learns that he is also a married, bi-sexual, registered sex offender.
  • She gets sidetracked and marries an eccentric British millionaire – twice.
  • Diana survives melanoma. That’s one too many Mels. Now, it really is time for jokes.